Thursday, February 10, 2011

How Not to Play Tennis

Do the opposite of me. My techniques aren't working.


  1. Don't leave your water bottle in the hot car all day before playing. The water will be hot enough to make a cup of tea, rather than a chilling and refreshing drink.
  2. Don't wear old basketball shoes with soles flapping around loosely, tripping you up. 
  3. Don't play in 36 degrees, at midday in full sunlight, on a hot hard-court. Not only does the sun burn holes in your eyes when you toss the ball up for service, you'll suffer from Burning Head Syndrome, described here for the first time:- your head overheats and sweats, staying bright red for several hours post-game no matter how long you stay under a cold shower.
  4. Don't invent a new type of serve whereby the ball hits the frame and ends up in a nearby garden.
  5. When a ball rolls away, don't sprint after it, thus exhausting yourself for the next point. 

4 comments:

  1. I'm so glad someone has defined Burning Head Syndrome. I have found that similar symptons may arise after running in the summer heat, even if the running occurs before 10am. I previously referred to this constellation of symptoms as 'tomato face', but will switch to the scientific term for greater impact.

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  2. Indoor gym with a/c is the way to go!

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  3. "Tomato Face", that is definitely a related condition. I might do some more research and write an entire article on this. I do have some experimental treatments using iced tea, 2 litres of ginger beer and chilli powder. Will explain more later.

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  4. After consuming that concoction, you would forget any ailments, no matter how painful.

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