Bindoon Graveyard

The graveyard at Bindoon church last week. I came across one very long-lived family here - a couple of centenarian sisters were buried near each other.

Another Unidentified Fleur

From the Valley of Chittering.

Not a Bottlebrush

I'm gonna call this a melacaula flower. But I don't think that's right. Mostly because I just invented that word.

Too Many Colours

This patch of wildflowers is ridiculously colourful.

Delicate Orchid

From the Chittering Valley.

Carrom Ball

BREAKING NEWS. I am now announcing that over ten years ago, I independently discovered the revolutionary third method of spin bowling in cricket called the Carrom Ball, (however it's more properly known as Lewk's Finger Flick).

Due to my inability to master conventional spin techniques, I was forced to use a weird flicking of the fingers to impart rotational velocity to the ball. And now it's all the rage in international cricket. 

What next? Will international chefs be rediscovering my incredible cheese on toast technique of hiding cream cheese underneath the cheddar. Or my invisible bookmark technique (to be explained later)? 

Passion for Committees

When I'm not immersed in my latest novel (reading, not writing), my next favourite pastime is to read minutes of committees. A google search will find any number of examples online, from local councils or administrative offices around the globe, all caught up in their own exciting little worlds. And it's always a highlight to see an item like this:

REVIEW OF PERFORMANCE AND OPERATION OF COMMITTEES

A Working Party has been established, with the support of the Director, to consider a range of issues associated with further improving the administrative efficiency and effectiveness of the committee system.  

This is the type of activity that office prisoners such as myself live for. Lazing at home on a Sunday arvo, only the thought of contributing to such a working party would motivate me to come to work early on a Monday. As a child with so many career options ahead, you'd never even contemplate you could make such a difference, but now, with the potential to streamline committee systems, just wow.

Floral Uncertainty

In my world of botanical guesswork and uncertainty, here is a blue lechenaultia and an orange scrunchy flower, intertwined. Sadly there's no way of knowing whether my identifications are correct.

Isopogon

Could this be an isopogon?

Surprise Banksia

This one lives on the ground.

CORRECTION. I've just been informed that this is a honeypot dryandra.

Purpleness

No idea what this flower is. Please tell me !

Kanagaroo Paw of Bindoon

On a wildflower expedition to the Chittering Valley today, this kangaroo paw was by itself.

Cheesy Elixir of Life

Lock away all your Philadelphia Cream Cheese or it will vanish. Whenever any appears in my fridge, it disappears into a stomachy abyss in moments. Its versatility is also its downfall - what other ingredient can be added to every single meal? For brekky, a cream cheese bagel is my favourite. Between meals I grab a carrot and dip it in the Philly. For lunch, how about some scrambled egg on creamy cheesy toast ? On a pizza, it hides underneath the mozzarella as a smooth and cool cheesy surprise that melts in your mouth. With nacho cheese or other Mexican meals, it's the perfect accompaniment. And for dessert, it's lovely in a cheesecake. It's the most versatile, life-saving concoction in the history of  Philadelphia foods, and it's so delicious that it must be banned from my kitchen before my arteries are completely clogged with the stuff.

Stalking Tip

When following someone on creaky floorboards, perfectly coincide your footsteps so that your noise is masked by theirs.

I found myself behind someone potentially boring walking along a corridor today, and had to implement this technique in order to stealthily follow him and reach the exit of a building without being detected.

The other option is to roll off to the side into an open doorway, but I reserve this for emergencies.

Scaring a Thief

Have you ever come face-to-face with a thief?

Looking for parking Friday lunchtime I went past a scruffy thirtysomething dude crouched down beside a student's car, fiddling with its lock. He was startled to see me and froze. I had now driven past and had to decide what to do. My first priority was to stop him, so I backed up my car to face him again so that he'd know he was busted. But he looked unpredictable and scary so I didn't linger too long. Instead I sped off to find a security guard who had been in a nearby car park minutes earlier. As I left I saw the thief jump into his car and take off. But the guard had vanished and so I called security who weren't terribly interested. If only I'd had my judo costume with me, I could have wrestled the guy to the ground and immobilised him.

Captain's Log Stardate 8.9.2012

Food supplies are critically low. We're vulnerable to attack due to loss of the remote control for the photon torpedoes. The shields are at zero percent. And the toilet is leaking. There's a chaotic tachyon field in the lounge, right in front of the television. And the phasers have low batteries and are only powerful enough to tickle, not even stun.

Am sending expedition to Floreat to look for resupplies. Will not be wearing my red shirt.

Dealing with a Monster Cat

Due to food allergies, a cat of my acquaintance has been taking a triple dose of steroids recently. And despite nearing retirement age, these drugs have changed his behaviour radically, and he's now a pumped up super-confident Tom Cruise of a cat. On Sunday he was seen on the roof, jumping around to impress the ladies instead of his typical pattern of a few hours sleeping in a sunny patch on the back lawn, followed by a few hours in front of the gas heater.

In the evenings, he struts around arrogantly, talking to anyone nearby, asking if there might be a second dinner.

Drugs are awesome !

Purple Excess

This hardenbergia is on my driveway, and my car collides with it every time I drive past.

Wattle Buds

Seen in King's Park this afternoon, an acacia bush in full-yellowness.