Post-Mortem on a Failed Photo

A midday photo shoot last week ended in failure, with not a single usable shot being taken. The main problem being the time of day, with the sun being too high in the sky, and also my lack of time to compose. Let's analyse one of my failed shots.

1. The subject is the agapanthus flower, but it doesn't stand out from its background sufficiently. If I'd got closer or zoomed in, I could have produced a narrower depth of field, and allowed the background to blur and not distract from the flowers.

2. The overhead sun results in a mixture of deep shadows and virbrant highlights, but no midtones.

3. Taking the photo from another angle, with the flowers outlined against the sky could have worked to separate them from the background.

Paid Handsomely for Pressing Buttons

I receive tens of thousands of dollars every year for pressing buttons. An alien observer would see me spending most of the day pressing various keys on a keyboard and mouse, interspersed with long periods of contemplation (in which I sit still and think, and eat chocolate or look outside). How can that be? How can pressing the right combination of buttons be rewarded so well? The alien would have more luck explaining brickies building a wall, or a farmer growing a crop. But whatever mysterious process I'm involved in occurs more in my brain and in the virtual world rather than in the physical world. In response to auditory or visual stimuli (verbal requests, or emails or memos), I press appropriate buttons.

It's weird, but I'm thankful that I can get away with this rather than tiring my body out in a more physical vocation. This arrangement leaves me with enough surplus energy to waste on more important pursuits such as swimming and tennissing.

Perth's Single Lonely Old Building

Barracks Arch.

Most of the building was demolished to make way for the freeway.

Australia Day Fireworks

How do those pyrotechnicians get the fireworks to change direction like this? Is it merely the effect of gravity? For once, the firework trails are not caused by me not holding the camera steady on a long-exposure shot.

Perth is Dull

But wait till darkness falls and the city is lit up. It looks such an enticing happening place. In reality it's still dreary and dead though. Look at that empty freeway, full of absolutely zero people heading off to a party on a balmy Saturday night.

My Recipes

Having photographed everything of interest within a 5km radius of my house, this blog is by necessity branching out into new areas. And I'm starting with recipes. Here are a couple of my favourite evening health treats.

1. White wine with cordial. Do you ever open a bottle of vino and after a few glasses, realise something is lacking? If it's not sweet enough, not green enough and the flavour isn't punchy enough, then pour in a few tablespoons of lime cordial. Lurid green alcohol has the psychological effect of being a harmless fun drink and is sure to lighten your mood.

2. Microwaved ice cream. If it's too hard out of the freezer then zap it for 20 seconds or to soften it up and release the flavour. Then pour on some golden syrup for that extra sweetness you so desperately need.

Dream Experiment

Would watching a Nazi documentary each night before sleeping affect your dreams? Or would an hour of kittens playing on YouTube result in happier dreams? Clearly the answer is yes, although an anxious mind could still find a way to turn kittens into nightmares. But if you do find yourself incorporating fascists into your dreaming you reconsider your nighttime viewing.

Somerville Auditorium

I've never managed good shots of this outdoor cinema in the evening, so here's one I took at lunchtime today. Either way, it's a gorgeous venue for film-viewing. Just make sure you're not sitting behind this tree.

From the Archives... 2003

A decade ago I was hunting for hobbits near Queenstown New Zealand.

Trendy Writing

I read Mark Haddon's latest novel The Red House yesterday and what a mistake that was. Not only are the characters unlikable (unless you're a fan of moaning and whingeing), but the prose style was irritating. He has this trendy affectation of interspersing his regular sentences with lists of descriptive words. So instead of a regular description of a house, say, you might get "Newpaper on floor, unripe fruit, musty sofa." Which is fine once or twice, but every third sentence is a list and if I want to read lists of words, I can read a thesaurus.

Even worse, he eschews quotation marks for speech. Instead italics are used to ambiguously denote speech or thoughts or quotations. This confusion leads to reader rage which is probably not the author's intended result.

These two stylistic choices are enough to turn me against the author FOREVER ! Unless he personally apologises to me.

Victoria's Secret Garden

Artistic Efficiency

How does a chef feel when their creation of hours is consumed in minutes, destroyed completely? Or an author who agonises over numerous drafts of an essay can have their creation consumed by a speed-reader at 800 words per minute. If you want to maximise your artistic effort, here are comparisons of different creative endeavours:

Artistic Endeavour	Typical Effort	Typical Consumption Time	Value for Effort	Permanence
Cooking	2 hours	30 minutes	25%	Only a taste memory
Painting	2 weeks	1 minute	0.005%	Forever
Writing	2 months	1 day	2%	Forever
Music	2 weeks	5 minutes	0.025%	Can linger as a mind virus
Film-making	6 months	2 hours	0.05%	Forever
Photography	2 minutes	1 minute	50%	Forever

So the clear winner is photography. Snap away with minimal effort and you can create something that will last forever, and that doesn't require much effort, merely good judgement.

Faery Light

Traversing the university campus in the late evening last week, this light is in the centre of a wild area, frequented by faeries and hobgoblins. I hurried through before they had time to curse or play a trick on me.

Tapas

Here's the scene of my lunch today, a Spanish tapas bar called Duende. This was the best moment, when my pear cider had arrived and the much anticipated food was still being prepared. There was a beautiful misty rain falling outside, giving grimy Leederville a glistening sheen and all was well with the world.

Robot Attacks

This fellow invaded my desk this afternoon.

Another Final Dunsborough Snap

The same photo, this time processed with a retro lens in Kitcam.

Dunsborough Again !

The final photo from my Dunsborough trip. This is the farmhouse we stayed in, under the enormous gum tree.

This has been fake HDR'ed up. 

Still Life with Pomme

Here's my desk, all HDR'ed up.

It's Still Christmas

My Christmas decorations are staying up till March. What a waste to put them out for a mere month. Instead I want to enjoy them for a substantial chunk of the year.

Red-Footed Booby

Island Confrontation

Returning to my Galapagos trip, here's a scary confrontation between an unidentified bird and a sea lion.

Breaking news: the bird has been identified. It's Monica.

Finger Resting Place

This is where my hands spend 10 to 17 hours a day. I hope they're happy here.

Award quality photography this. But should I photoshop away the dandruff ?

D_nsborough.

Guess where this is.

It's a portal to another time and place. I drove through it and ended up in a rural backwater in the 1950s. Or was it present day Dunsborough?... hard to tell.

Reabold Rays

After the thunderstorm today, rays of sunlight found their way through the thick clouds and shone directly onto Reabold Tennis Club. I was at Floreat Forum on the rooftop carpark, and took this sight as a sign that I should play tomorrow. It may be unwise in the 40 degree heat but I will try nonetheless.

Photo taken with iPhone, editing in Camera+

Dunsborough or Eastfarthing?

Another shot at sunset from my Dunsborough stay last week. Add a hobbit or two, and this could be a scene from the Shire in Middle Earth.

Watching Badminton

I spent a wonderful seven hours at the Perth Arena yesterday, watching some professional tennissing. The photo is from my iPhone, with a 70s retro filter applying. On the left are South Africans Chanelle Scheepers and Kevin Anderson facing the French Jo-Wilfred Tsonga and Mathilde Johansson.

Avenue at Sunset

Another Dunsborough snap, taken minutes before sunset. It may look fake with its excessive pseudo-HDR processing, but I love it.

Looking Up a Gum Tree

Again, this iPhone snap was touched up in Camera+.

Classical Rural Landscape

Another iPhone pic of Dunsborough. This one was processed in Camera+ using the HDR (high dynamic range) option. It's reminiscent of an eighteenth century landscape oil painting.