Stages of a Traditional Relationship

Some old-timers may recall the way it was back in the early days, before 1990. If you're too young, let me educate you about how you might have met your sweetheart and moved towards a life together forever, before the era of RSVP.com.

1. A chaperone is selected for the young lady, someone to watch over her and to ensure nothing untoward  happens, such as looking deeply into a gentleman's eyes, or dropping her handkerchief flirtatiously.

2. An announcement in the parish times is published, indicating that the young lady is to come out into society at an upcoming dance or ball. For the technologically advanced parents, they may post to an electronic bulletin board, Compuserve or AOL.

3. Parents of the young gentleman espy a suitable young lady, and make discreet enquiries with her parents.

4. Parents meet at church and sign a tentative agreement to proceed. If they are Catholic, then at this stage, the Pope's Emissary is asked for his blessing.

5. At some future social event, the young gentleman is permitted to introduce himself to the lady, and to chat amiably but in a civil manner about the local duck-hunting season, or about fencing techniques, or his interest in different varieties of tea. This is under the keen eye of the chaperone, who ensures the only touching is during a formal dance, or perhaps a polite kiss of her gloved hand at the end of the evening when they part.

6. Correspondence between the two sweethearts ensues. Every few days, a letter may be exchanged. They may even meet at the Floreat Library if they are very keen. On special occasions, a red rose may be sent.

7. The young gentleman formally requests permission from the lady's father for her hand in marriage.

8. The gentleman now can propose to the lady. And she will hopefully accept.

9. Engagement.

10. Marriage.

11. Often at this stage, the young gentleman is called away to the navy, or to do missionary work. This may keep them apart for up to a decade, or even longer, should he contract tuberculosis or cholera.