Facing the Fearsome US Border Protection

One reason I flew into Canada rather than the US was to avoid the unpleasant American border protection agents, those rude and humourless and overweight souls who spend their hours hassling passengers, scanning  babies for concealed bombs, interrogating anyone who might have accidentally downloaded a copyrighted MP3 or movie, or might have radical vegetarian pamphlets concealed somewhere. And arriving at Vancouver airport, the Canuck equivalents were invariably over-the-top polite and friendly, so I was pleased with my decision.

And so with trepidation I neared the US border after leaving the Canadian Rockies and heading south into Montana and Glacier National Park. Expecting a grilling after reading horror stories from other travellers who had been detained for trivial incidents, or for joking in poor taste, I tidied the rental car so that it looked respectable and not in need of a rummage around, and was prepared for an interrogation. Arriving in Chief Mountain crossing, at the top of an achingly beautiful mountain pass, the signs were ominous as five stocky agents were hanging around, guns holstered, shiny Homeland Security badges on shirts, waiting to pounce. But when they started talking they were friendly, and all fears evaporated. They had a quick look inside the car and had no further interest, telling me to park and head inside the office to fill out a form and show my passport. Inside was an even friendlier bloke at a desk who handed over an immigration card, a German one. When this was queried, his colleague said "Willkommen" and swapped it for an English one. After completing the card, his checking of my passport was interrupted by his colleague in the back office who had found something funny on YouTube. The desk officer excused himself and went back to watch the video, then returned with a big grin to finish his processing. Then I went on my way, so pleased that I had made it into the US without any fuss, and also happy to see a bunch of blokes with guns on a remote mountain having such a fun time.