from now on this blog is abandoning the conventions of english spelling grammar and punctuation
no more will i be taking the time to switch between upper case and lower case
im such a busy person that i estimate that simplifying my language can save me up to 5 hours a year that i can better spend sitting around watching tv or playing computer games
You could save time by using your instead of you're.
ReplyDelete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAaaarrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhh. I used to be a champion speller at school and now look far I've deteriorated :(
Am ashamed of recent attempts at writing.
Take heart, Mr Lewk: http://stevemiranda.wordpress.com/2010/11/06/the-story-of-the-kid-who-couldnt-spell-from-the-archives/
ReplyDeleteIt has come to our attention that you have dismissed your Cat from its proof reading duties, for what we consider a minor error.
ReplyDeleteWe believe that you did not follow any course of disciplinary procedure, solely taking this action without any negotiation with the Union.
It is our understanding that this is the first error of the Cats career. So it is our considered view that only a verbal warning should have been given. Or at worst the removal for a short period of fluffy play toy.
Until such time that your Cat is reinstated with full benefits, including play toys, long nap periods, fresh fish, top quality cat food (not that stuff from the bottom shelf of the corner shop), and at least two hours a day grooming, we will have no other option than to call a global strike of Cat Proof Readers.
Obviously you can’t do without your Cat, as latter blog entries show. So please consider the literacy implications of your own blog, and of the worlds publications.
We await with baited fishy breath, your considered response to our ultimatum. And don’t even consider using those 2nd grade Dog Proof Readers, they may be able to cope with brail copy.
As for you Professor S.K, it can be arranged for the lad Cats from the local chapter to mark their territory on your car wheels, capeesh !!! Al Capuss.
Note. We do not current provide services at tabloid newspapers, as you may tell. These are under the control of Rats (Union of Vermin Proof Readers).
Leaving aside the scandalous solecisms in your missive, you are also confusing copy editing and proofreading. Cats are ideally employed as copy editors (hence the well known term 'copy cat'). Proofreading should be reserved for parrots.
ReplyDeleteMy car is protected by a Dog-Matic security system.
To the Union of Proof Reading Cats, I humbly offer a can of sardines as a token of friendship and solidarity with you, and as an inducement not to scratch my eyes out as retribution for the sacking of my cat.
ReplyDeleteS.K. We’ll have no problems getting passed your security system. As you know, cats rule, dogs drool.
ReplyDeleteLewk. You insult us, canned fish, only fresh will do (I’m no street moggy).
ReplyDeleteWe want proof that your Cat is back to duties, with all the benefits such a Cat deserve.