Thursday, October 28, 2010

Crud Scale

At work, we often find ourselves crudded. But when you're in this state often, you learn to distinguish between different levels of cruddedness (or cruddation, in technical terminology). Here's the scale we use -

10 = Hiroshima Crud - the worst; top of the scale. Get yourself a lawyer.

8 = Grosse Merde - equals 1 Stinky Crud plus 2 Oh Cruds

7 = Shingies - we're getting serious here

6 = Major Cruddation - worth skipping lunch to sort out.

5 = Stinky Crud - worth skipping morning-tea break for.

4 = Crud - the traditional, original and best

3 = Oh Crud - a minor setback, can be overcome within a couple of minutes

1 = Mini-Crud - barely worth mentioning; the normal background level that surrounds us.

0 = 100% Crud-Free. A theoretical state hypothesised to exist were you living on a desert island with no Microsoft Office products and no bosses and no deadlines and no speed cameras.

4 comments:

  1. Is the crud scale linear? It would seem not, since you say 8 = Grosse Merde = 1 x Stinky Crud + 2 x Oh Crud = 5 + 3 + 3 = 11.

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  2. No it's definitely non-linear. It's much more complicated than that. Please see the technical paper I submitted to Annals of Neuropsychology May 2010.

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  3. There's no number 9 and 2, any particular reason?

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  4. Labels for 9 and 2 are currently in dispute. When the terminology is decided, it will be published here and on wikipedia.

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