Approaching Apocalypse

Someone has flicked the switch and Perth's overdue summer hits us tomorrow. The nightmarish forecast goes:

  Mon - 36

  Tues - 37

  Wed - 39

  Thur - 40

  Fri - 40

  Sat - 39

This is how it will affect me, comparing today's scene with next weekend.

This Weekend

*The back lawn's verdant pastures are flourishing with spring flowers still lingering in shady corners and butterflies flitting around lazily. Plants are greener than ever at this time of year after our wettest ever start to summer.

*A fridge fully-laden with fizzy apple juice, iced tea, white wine and mini-cokes.

*I'm feeling relaxed, bursting with energy and keen to tidy up the garden, do odd-jobs around the house.

Next Weekend

*I'll be imprisoned either under a shower or in front of our one and only fan, too hot to move anywhere else
*Mass extinctions will devastate the garden with frazzled survivors barely holding on after being watered twice a day. Blackened, scorched remnants of flowers and insects will litter the ground and a furnace wind will breath fiery death on anything in its reach.

*A barren fridge will contain nothing of interest except my beetroot-red head as I stick it in to cool down. And once it's completely empty I'll live inside it in frigid comfort, sipping hot chocolates to keep my core temperature up.