Playing hide-and-seek among the aisles of shops is my sixth favourite game. Dare venture into an electronics store or clothing boutique at a quiet time when sales assistants outnumber customers, and they'll swarm towards you with unwanted help and misleading advice, interrupting your finely-tuned decision-making process. This doesn't apply to Harvey Norman whose sleazy sales staff tend to be too occupied gossiping among themselves or playing X-Box. But in other stores, it's necessary to use advanced stealth techniques to evade them.
You're especially vulnerable alone and your fundamental technique is to keep on the move. Don't linger too long in one area or you'll be caught and the game's over. Keep moving from one salesperson's patch to another's so they're not sure what you're interested in and where you're heading. If you can sneak around behind them, you'll gain precious extra seconds before they close in, much like Pacman's ghosts.
It's far better to shop with a confederate or dummy shopper. The premise here is that your partner will attract the attention of staff, their spiel will commence and you'll be free to wander unmolested. It helps if your dummy shopper is preloaded with some silly questions that take time to answer. Here are some samples:
"I'd like to buy a colour printer. Can you help?"
"I've heard that gold-plated cables improve tv pictures. Is this true?"
"How do I use this camera? What do the buttons do? Where do I put the film in?"
Hopefully these techniques will allow you to shop in peace.
Love it! Perilous Pac-man-esque Purchasing Pandemonium!
ReplyDeleteDo you have any tips to avoid customers who mistakenly think you are a salesperson? This has happened to me on several occasions.
Oh dear. Try not to dress wearing pinstriped shirts.
ReplyDelete