Celebrating a Half-Birthday

If the twelve months between one birthday and the next is too long to wait, you'll be a fan a half-birthdays. But do you know to celebrate one appropriately? The half-hearted approach of merely recognising it and demanding spontaneous gifts from friends and relatives is no longer sufficient in the era of increasingly elaborate celebrations. To do it properly, you need to really grasp the half theme. Hold a party and then abruptly shut it down halfway in, after bringing out half a birthday cake. Receive half-presents - such as the first half of a movie,  a CD containing the first halves of songs, the first half of a novel. Children especially will appreciate such thoughtful gifts. They may sob uncontrollably after unwrapping half a Barbie, or spend weeks fruitlessly trying to complete half a jigsaw puzzle, but when they grow up, they'll thank you for having the discipline to do this, and they'll in turn pass on this insane tradition to their hapless descendants.