Having read Kafka's
Metamorphosis, I'm aware that one day I could awake as a dragonfly. But being an insect is too alien to comprehend, so instead I've spent many a quiet Saturday afternoon working on my strategies should I be transmogrified into a household pooch, and I'd cope quite well.
Making contact with humans and letting them know my identity would be my first priority. I'd start by writing SOS with my dog food, smeared strategically over the floor. If that weren't noticed, I'd start barking patterns. One bark, then two barks then three barks then four barks and so on. Or perhaps I'd bark the digits of pi. The difficulty is that a human might not pay attention and mistake me for a messy eater who won't shut up. After all, they'd not be expecting any mathematical significance in a dog's bark. So then I'd howl popular music:
Who Let the Dogs Out, Hound Dog and
How Much is that Doggie in the Window? Eventually I'd crack their consciousness and then I'd move onto stage two.
Establishing an efficient form of communication would be vital.
Typing and writing with claws and paws might be problematic, but not out of the question with the right tools. So I'd expect an intelligent and sympathetic human to come up with some method that would allow me to convey more thoughts easily.
Then I'd be able to specify my requirements precisely. My diet would switch from a can of minced beef to something more classy. And I'd regain control of the tv remote.
More details to come...
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