Wordsmithing

With the scrabble craze showing no sign of abating, some more hints may come in handy. The most fundamental trick when trying to make long words out of your rack is to look for letters that can form common endings:

    -ING  -ED  -ER  -S

For example, given ASGNITR, you should remove the ING, leaving you with RSAT + ING. Now you merely have to make a four-letter word from the remaining letters, such as STARING.

How about DESTIMX? Remove the -ED, leaving STIMX + ED, and now it's apparent that you can make MISTED, MIXED or SITED.

Laying Turf for Lazy Blighters

What do you do if your neighbours with 4-wheel-drives and trailers park on your verge constantly, ripping up your once verdant lawn, turning it into a sandheap with an occasional tuft of grass? Don't follow my lead. I saw some cheap turf for sale at the local hardware store and loaded up my car with it. Then at 7am on Easter Sunday morning, I laid the stuff with no preparation. Of course, it broke up and I had to patch it together. And with the neighbour's car parked there as ever, I had to crawl underneath it to lay the turf. So there we have it, a lawn-laying disaster. At least it only cost me $18.

Rain

This is me sitting outside in the rain today.

Bad Hair Day

And hairwashing day is not till Sunday. I may not make it.

From 

From iwdrm.tumblr.com/page/22

Why Don't My Photos Look Like This?

I wish I knew how. From here.

Banksy Spotted in Innaloo

World famous street artist Banksy has been discovered working in Perth recently. Parking at Innaloo Bunnings a couple of weeks ago, I saw his unmistakable stencil work on the back of the nearby NAB. I'd be bitterly disappointed if this turned out to be merely the work of some TAFE art student doing a graffiti assignment, but a much more likely scenario is that Banksy was drawn to Innaloo by the combination of Bunnings (for art supplies), Hungry Jacks (for sustenance) and the NAB (banks being a perfect symbol of fascist corporate evil).

Invention of Rooms

Did you know that the existence of lounge rooms (also known as living rooms, drawing rooms, the salon) depends on the invention of chimneys? In mediaeval times, people typically spent their time in buildings with large halls with an open fire in the centre for heating and lighting. In northern Europe, houses as we know them today with separate rooms couldn't exist because you needed a large enough space for a fire. But the revolution occurred when chimneys became more common in the 1300s. This superior ventilation allowed small rooms to exist.

Tennis Expertise For All

After countless hours spent tuning my body to the brink of physical perfection, after thousands of drills and exercises, after training by renowned masters of the game, I now know that I've chosen the wrong path to tennis expertise. The skill that marks out the top players is in fact the ability to pick up a tennis ball without bending down. Before I say more, be mesmerised by this Nadal magic

Here are the different levels of skills you need to progress through. If you can reach at least level 3 or 4 then there's no need to actually play the game - if someone sees you using these techniques they'll know how fantastic you are.

Level 1 - Novice

Use your hand. Don't do this under any circumstance if you want respect.

Level 2 - Amateur

Flip the ball up in the air by wedging it between your foot and your racquet, then bounce it down into the ground and up higher with your racquet.

Level 3 - Club

Hit it with your racquet strings so that it bounces up, then hit it down hard enough that it bounces up to you.

Level 4 - Pro

This one relies on having a racquet with a thin frame, thin enough that you can use it to elegantly scoop up the ball in one motion (YouTube).

Level 5 - Magician

My newly patented technique that nobody else has thought of is to add velcro to the end of your racquet so that balls stick to it. Why on earth has noone come up with this earlier?

Evening Boy

He's leading an escape posse from the picnic.

Should You Work Hard?

If you're working for yourself then there's doubt about it - working hard is the logical decision. You're gaining the benefits of your sweat and tears so why wouldn't you put in a big effort.

If you're a paid employee then the decision is more difficult. Putting in a big effort leads to satisfaction and fulfilment, as you plough through your tasks for the day at high speed. But the work never ends. If you finish one job then there'll be another to start. You're a mouse on a wheel spinning it faster and faster, hoping to reach the end that never comes. And if your manager sees your capacity for work, will you be rewarded for your productivity? Possibly, but it's much more likely that you'll be loaded up with more jobs.

Working through lunch helps to clear your inbox, but it doesn't clear your mind. A break from work refreshes you for the afternoon shift.

Combining Special Days

This year in Australia with the rare coincidence of Easter with our ANZAC day commemoration of sacrifices in war, it seems appropriate that we combine the two events. For the current generations, Easter is primarily regarded as a time to eat Hot Cross Buns and chocolate eggs. And ANZAC day is the traditional time of year to eat ANZAC biscuits. And so I reckon that it would a fitting tribute to both events to combine these foodstuffs to make a Hot Cross ANZAC egg. This would consist of a chocolate egg encasing a hot cross bun, and inside the bun would be an ANZAC biscuit. I'm still contemplating technically how it could be constructed, but once I do, I will publish it on wikipedia for all to use.

And then, once every 20 years when the two events coincide, we will be treated to this special concoction, and we'll never forget.

Scrabble Tips

All of my scrabble opponents are forbidden from reading any further. I can't afford to give you an advantage against me, so please leave immediately. Visit this site instead.

One scrabble champion recently explained that mathematicians tend to perform well. Rather than creating the longest possible word, looking for high scoring opportunities should be the focus. With my maths background I should theoretically do okay, but in practice I need to concentrate, and find the following tips handy.

1.  Scan the board for any high scoring squares that you could reach. Look for triple word squares first, and then  double word squares. Or a triple letter square. Failing that, a double letter square.

2. Look for prefix and suffix possibilities.

3. Do you have any valuable letters (J, Q, X, Z)? If so, then don't waste them. You must make the most of them.

4. Use obscene or provocative words. This is not merely for shock value, you can actually distract your opponent who doesn't expect such language from such a polite and demure citizen such as yourself.

5. If playing online or with your smartphone, when an opponent is threatening to win, use crowdsourcing - get your colleagues in the office all working together to find the best move. This works well if you have a mixture of language skills.

Gran's Apple Stonker

Mmmm, fruity.

I love my new Panasonic f1.7 lens. It lets in so much light that its performance in low light conditions is just as good as in daylight.

At the Old Canton

Last night I needed cocktails urgently, so headed into town to the Old Canton Bar Lounge, where I ordered an apple concoction. You can see the bartender mixing it up for me below.

Waiting to Collect Indian Takeaway

This was my view for 20 minutes last night, staring at my feet. I became entranced by the shadows and I swear they started moving slightly, shimmering and changing colour. But a bit later I realised I was merely delirious from low blood sugar levels, and once I had a herb naan in me, my vision returned to normal.

Beauty of Suburbia

A lonely lost trolley outside the new Indian restaurant at the Floreat Forum.

Opera Singer in Residence

Until today, I've not understood the benefits of having an opera singer in residence in the office. Imagine being surrounded by wonderful singing as someone sets to verse the events of the day. It turns a mundane event such as us closing the door to protect against noxious dumpling fumes from the nearby kitchen into a full-scale drama. It heightens your emotions and enlivens the day.

A Quick Application of Sweat

Before heading into an important meeting, a useful tip I've learnt today is to throw a small handful of water over your forehead. If others notice your glistening brow, explain that you've working exceptionally hard today. I guarantee that you will be admired and respected, even if in reality you've spent the last three hours at morning tea.

I am Disquieted

...however I don't know what this word means. I'm curious to know what emotion I should be experiencing. All will be revealed once I consult a dictionary.

Fast Movement

You might know of the Slow Movement, the idea that we should take our time and savour the moment in different realms of our life, be it eating, travelling, consuming media. This lazy philosophy is so contrary to my principles that I'm founding a new organisation to counter their misguided ideology. My Fast Movement had its first meeting over morning tea today, and came up with the following principles:

• Drive fast - get to the speed limit as soon as your car will propel you, and stay there.
• Eat fast - the more you eat, the quicker your body will digest it, and you'll be empty sooner, ready for the next meal
• Multi-task -  if you're not doing three things at once, you're wasting your brainpower. For example, do a sudoku while watching tv and eating, or do some gardening while listening to the radio and texting. Avoid single-tasking situations, such as having to wait in a queue to buy something. The Fast Movement solution is to either order over the internet, or while queueing, listen to podcasts on your phone, and read a magazine.

Not only is dead time is a complete waste of your life, it can actually kill you quicker. Or at least it feels like that.

Diets and Non-Diets

Listing what I've consumed today makes interesting reading:

• 2 x slices of fruit loaf
• 2 x fruit tarts
• 2 x cups of tea
• 1 x can of coke
• 1 x Cadbury Twix
• 1 x lemon cheesecake yoghurt

Your challenge is group the items above into breakfast and lunch.

And for bonus points, what is my cholesterol level?

Stuck in a Rut

People over thirty are generally so set in their ways that they need an almighty shove in order to make a change. If left to their own devices without outside intervention, they can often be found creating a comfortable daily routine for themselves. Getting up at the same time, wearing the same combination of clothes, taking the same route to work, eating the same lunch, watching the same tv programs, eating the same weekly meals.

I say this because after months of struggling with the idea of wearing a new watch, I've abandoned it for the old one and don't even know where the new one is. And I'm much happier wearing my 1996 Timex digital with disintegrating strap. I felt uneasy switching to the analogue watch, and I never got over the lack of a day of the week display. But the catalyst for regressing was a week ago when I tried to change the date. Without reference to the manual, I vaguely remembered that I needed to pull out the crown to the third position. It wouldn't go past the first position so I used all my strength and managed to pull the crown plus other components off the watch and onto the floor. I don't think I ever found all the bits, but I stuck the crown back in as best I could. I doubt it's very waterproof now.  Out of curiosity I did then check the manual and found there was no third position. Whoops.

But it's for the best. I'm back in my comfort zone again.

Don't Hurt Me

A funny action shot from the footy on Saturday evening. Click to zoom in.

Watching the Footy

It was so loud, I had to cover my ears at times. Why can't everyone watch in silence? At least nobody spilt their beer over me this time, as has happened before.

Bar Mania

Here's a beautiful light from the second bar we visited, Andalusia.